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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Should someone tell Conair to recall their pulsing, handheld showerheads too?

Conair recently recalled their line of wand massagers after realizing it was being used inappropriately. Should someone tell Conair to go ahead and recall their pulsing, handheld showerheads too?

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