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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Should teachers be eliminated and replaced by dogs trained to press "play" on DVD players loaded with a single, long educational video?

In order to cut budgets, some states are switching to a "one teacher per school" plan which will increase average class sizes to 1,000 students. However, critics of the plan say that in order to truly reduce deficits all teachers should be eliminated and students should be taught by dogs trained to press the "play" button on DVD players loaded with a very long educational video. Do you agree?

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