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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Should the U.S. send more troops to Iran to help clean up after the series of explosions the nation is now experiencing?

Since the U.S. sent 45,000 troops into Iran to help clean up a minor train accident yesterday, the nation has been rocked by a series of accidental explosions. Should the U.S. send in more troops to help the Iranian people recover from these mishaps?

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