adBlockCheck

Sports

Weird, Area Woman Wasn't Harassed Today

Bewildered paralegal Caitlin Levy says that after returning home from work today, it occurred to her that, oddly, at no point during her day was she harassed, leered at, or made to feel humiliated or physically threatened.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

SI Investigation Reveals Oklahoma State An Awesome Place To Play Football

STILLWATER, OK—A shocking investigation published in this week’s Sports Illustrated shed light on Oklahoma State University’s alleged practice of plying its football players with sex, drugs, academic assistance, and cash payments in violation of NCAA rules, revealing that the college is an absolutely awesome place to play football. “We found by enabling recreational drug use, encouraging recruits to sign by offering free sex, and paying some players over $10,000 annually that OSU is a totally kickass place to play football,” said Sports Illustrated writer Thayer Evans, adding that the “amazing” Division I football program from 2000 to 2011 routinely provided “lucky-as-hell” athletes with “incredibly cool” illegal perks. “After discovering the typical OSU football player gets access to an unending supply of sex, drugs, and free money, all while the school provides a tutor to do your homework for you, only one thought came to my mind: ‘Ride ’em Cowboys!’” At press time, every single one of the nation’s top 300 high school football recruits had committed to OSU.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close