adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Silvio Berlusconi Swears Dancer Was Of Legal Age When He Paid Her For Sex Using State Money

ROME—Facing widespread criticism over his alleged sexual relationship with an underaged exotic dancer during his tenure as prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi on Tuesday assured the people of Italy that the woman in question was of legal age when he paid her for sex using the nation’s money. "Let me swear to you that these brazenly misappropriated state funds went toward financing my long-running sexual liaison with a call girl who was of full legal age throughout our affair," the career politician and media tycoon told reporters, adding that the exotic dancer with whom he had intercourse dozens of times during his time in office was "at least" 18 years old when she received thousands of euros in jewelry and air travel courtesy of Italy's depleted treasury. "Despite what my critics say, this sexual relationship made possible through considerable taxpayer financing was something that occurred between two consenting adults. This has been the case with every single one of my government-subsidized affairs, and the people of Italy know that." Berlusconi, who was forced out of office in 2011 over concerns about his ability to resuscitate Italy's stagnant economy amid a litany of embarrassing sex scandals, is expected to be fully forgiven by the Italian citizenry.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close