adBlockCheck

Recent News

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.
End Of Section
  • More News

Singing, Dancing Man Just Getting Started

CHICAGO—Despite having just completed a brief, wholly satisfactory down-tempo song-and-dance number followed by a brief pause that led many to believe he had completed all singing and dancing, tuxedoed entertainer Rick Werner, 29, made it clear Tuesday that he was just getting started. After being tossed a top hat and cane by an unidentified offstage associate, Werner performed high kicks in time to three brassy, ascending notes as a large curtain rose behind him to reveal approximately four dozen identically dressed performers. "Hey, now that's the stuff," Werner said as he stepped sideways across the stage making tight, circular motions with flat-palmed hands. "Cha." At press time, dazzled sources had not yet confirmed whether the stage was retracting to reveal a pool full of synchronized swimmers.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close