Singing, Dancing Man Just Getting Started

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 14

Coast Guard Sinks Vacant Ship

The U.S. Coast Guard used cannon fire to sink the 164-foot Ryou-Un Maru, a Japanese "ghost ship" set adrift by the tsunami last year.

Cambodian Antiquity To Be Seized

FBI agents moved to impound a statue from the auction house Sotheby's after Cambodian officials claimed it was looted from an ancient Khmer temple.

Phil Grayson

Phil Grayson celebrated 15 years of manning the old glory hole in the South Royalton Rest Area men’s room.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Personal Finance

Singing, Dancing Man Just Getting Started

CHICAGO—Despite having just completed a brief, wholly satisfactory down-tempo song-and-dance number followed by a brief pause that led many to believe he had completed all singing and dancing, tuxedoed entertainer Rick Werner, 29, made it clear Tuesday that he was just getting started. After being tossed a top hat and cane by an unidentified offstage associate, Werner performed high kicks in time to three brassy, ascending notes as a large curtain rose behind him to reveal approximately four dozen identically dressed performers. "Hey, now that's the stuff," Werner said as he stepped sideways across the stage making tight, circular motions with flat-palmed hands. "Cha." At press time, dazzled sources had not yet confirmed whether the stage was retracting to reveal a pool full of synchronized swimmers.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More