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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Single Nurse Can’t Help But Notice Man Isolated For Ebola Not Wearing A Ring

DALLAS—Inferring that he might be “on the market,” Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital nurse Monica Fitzgerald reportedly couldn’t help noticing Monday that Thomas Eric Duncan, the first person diagnosed with Ebola in the United States, was not wearing a wedding ring. “He’s pretty cute, and unless my eyes deceive me, there doesn’t appear to be a Mrs. Duncan,” said Fitzgerald, 35, adding that she first observed the lack of a wedding band while inserting an intravenous tube into the critically ill man’s arm. “He seems to be the right age for me, and he definitely loves traveling as much as I do. I know it’s not a good idea to get involved with patients, but sometimes you just have to make an exception.” At press time, Fitzgerald was seen checking her hair and makeup before heading back into the isolation ward to assist with another blood transfusion.

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