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President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.
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Single Nurse Can’t Help But Notice Man Isolated For Ebola Not Wearing A Ring

DALLAS—Inferring that he might be “on the market,” Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital nurse Monica Fitzgerald reportedly couldn’t help noticing Monday that Thomas Eric Duncan, the first person diagnosed with Ebola in the United States, was not wearing a wedding ring. “He’s pretty cute, and unless my eyes deceive me, there doesn’t appear to be a Mrs. Duncan,” said Fitzgerald, 35, adding that she first observed the lack of a wedding band while inserting an intravenous tube into the critically ill man’s arm. “He seems to be the right age for me, and he definitely loves traveling as much as I do. I know it’s not a good idea to get involved with patients, but sometimes you just have to make an exception.” At press time, Fitzgerald was seen checking her hair and makeup before heading back into the isolation ward to assist with another blood transfusion.

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