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Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Singles Bar Contains Single Woman

CLEARWATER, FL–J.P. McQuade's, a popular Clearwater-area singles bar, contained a single woman Saturday night. "Talk about a sausage-fest," said Dave Hereford, one of the approximately 170 men who patronized the bar along with the lone female, 29-year-old St. Petersburg office manager Jennifer Doering. "I've never seen so many dudes crowded around just one chick." The single woman received 137 offers to go someplace a little more quiet.

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