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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Sir Chris Hoy

Cycling — Great Britain

Number Of Times During A 5-Minute Conversation He Reminds You He Has Been Knighted: 17

Accomplishments: Considered the greatest male cyclist in Olympics history, which is just another way of saying you’ll never hear his name again after you click on the next person

Preferred Wheel Shape: Circle

Legacy: The most successful Olympic male cyclist of all time until next week’s drug test

Background: He is a professional at an activity most children master by age 6

NEXT: Kenenisa Bekele

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