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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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Sitcom On PBS Assumed To Be Intellectual

SALINAS, CA–Assuming the program to be an intellectually enriching treasure trove of highbrow delights, PBS viewer Ross Waymer immersed himself Monday in the BBC sitcom I Dare Say, Mr. Pumsby! "It's a biting, incisive satire of the British class system that simultaneously skewers and celebrates the social mores of the have-nots in post-Thatcher Britain," said Waymer, explaining to his wife a scene in which a man is repeatedly doused with buckets of paint. "And this one guy, he has to dress up as a lady to fool his landlord into thinking he's dead so he doesn't have to pay the rent."

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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