Sitcom Resorts To Wizard Of Oz-Themed Fantasy Episode

In This Section

Vol 37 Issue 14

Ironic-Kitsch-Appreciation Subculture Excited About New Britney Spears Novel

AUSTIN, TX–Across the nation, Gen-X ironic-kitsch aficionados are racing to bookstores to pick up the new Britney Spears novel A Mother's Gift. "Holy shit, check it out: It's about a teenage girl who becomes a pop superstar thanks to the love and support of her mother," Mike Romanoff, 29, told friend Darius Grace, 30, while perusing the book at an Austin-area Barnes & Noble. "This is an instant classic on par with Fabio After Dark." Added Tim Edwards, operator of the popular "Mr. Sarcastic" web site: "I cannot wait to read this 'timeless, universal story as written by the girl who actually lived it.' Awesome."

St. Jude Swears Off Ever Answering Another Personals Ad

HEAVEN–Exasperated after a string of bad dates, Catholic martyr St. Jude vowed Monday never to respond to another personals ad. "Man, talk about hopeless causes," the holy figure said. "Do I have a sign on my head saying, 'Losers of the world, contact St. Jude?' I mean, these were some big-time desperate cases." Jude added that, from now on, he will respond only to direct prayer delivered in a Roman Catholic Church.

Bus Passenger Suspects Man In Next Seat Might Be Having Conversation With Him

SPOKANE, WA–An hour after pulling out of Spokane Monday, Greyhound passenger Ed Comello began suspecting that the man in the next seat was having a conversation with him. "I was gazing silently out the window," Comello said, "and I could hear the guy next to me going on about having to get to Tacoma tonight and how 'if your mama's sick, you got to go visit her.' I assumed he was talking to the person across the aisle, but when I looked across, the seat was empty." Comello added that he was afraid to acknowledge the possible conversation for fear of prolonging it.

Bill Up And Dies In Tennessee Legislature

NASHVILLE, TN–Democratic supporters of H.R. 3470, the Shelby County Millage Act, were right sorry Monday when the bill up and died in the Tennessee General Assembly. "We done supported that bill like a mama possum supports her young 'uns," said Rep. Clem McCombs (D-Pikeville), the bill's sponsor. "But the committee process was just too ornery." Rep. Lefty Perkins (R-Pigeon Forge), chairman of the House Committee On Looking After Your Own Business, celebrated the death of the bill by firing his shotgun into the air.

Odds 'N' Ends

Your old pal Jean has never claimed to be an expert on journalism, but there's one thing I do know: When you write a newspaper column, you have to pour your heart out. You loyal Jeanketeers out there know all about my battle with my weight, my troubles with hubby Rick, and my series of lousy, low-paying jobs. I admit that some of that stuff is a little embarrassing. It's not the kind of thing you usually tell total strangers. But being so open and honest in my column helps me get things off my chest, and I always feel a whole lot better for it. (For a little while, at least!)

Executing The Mentally Disabled

The U.S. Supreme Court is currently hearing a case challenging the constitutionality of the death penalty for retarded individuals. What do you think?
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comedy

Sitcom Resorts To Wizard Of Oz-Themed Fantasy Episode

BURBANK, CA–Desperate for plotlines as its fifth season winds down, NBC's Just Shoot Me resorted to the time-honored Wizard Of Oz-themed fantasy episode Thursday. "David [Spade] gets hit over the head, and when he wakes up, he's in Oz," head writer Alex Cohen said. "Laura [San Giacomo] is The Tin Man, George [Segal] is the Cowardly Lion, Wendie [Malick] is the Scarecrow, and David–here's the best part–is Dorothy." Cohen said plans are already in the works for a late-December It's A Wonderful Life fantasy episode.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More