adBlockCheck

Recent News

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
End Of Section
  • More News

Sitcom Resorts To Wizard Of Oz-Themed Fantasy Episode

BURBANK, CA–Desperate for plotlines as its fifth season winds down, NBC's Just Shoot Me resorted to the time-honored Wizard Of Oz-themed fantasy episode Thursday. "David [Spade] gets hit over the head, and when he wakes up, he's in Oz," head writer Alex Cohen said. "Laura [San Giacomo] is The Tin Man, George [Segal] is the Cowardly Lion, Wendie [Malick] is the Scarecrow, and David–here's the best part–is Dorothy." Cohen said plans are already in the works for a late-December It's A Wonderful Life fantasy episode.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close