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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Skeleton Of Mayan Nerd Dug From Prehistoric Locker

ALTUN HA, BELIZE—Archaeologists discovered an obsidian locker containing the skeleton of an ancient Mayan nerd, believed to have been forced into his locker circa 800 B.C. "The skeleton is remarkably well-preserved and displays great technological—but not social—sophistication," Dr. Forrest Clayton said. "The orthodontic headgear is still attached to the skull, as are the glasses, which were rimmed with antelope horn." Clayton said he believes that the clothing worn by the ancient nerd, specifically a short-sleeved garment featuring the visage of Mayan sun deity Kinich Ahau, was most likely picked out by the youth's mother.

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