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Slightest Amount Of Physical Contact Apologized For

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Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage

GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate.
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Slightest Amount Of Physical Contact Apologized For

NEW YORK—During a crowded rush-hour subway ride Monday, an inadvertent brushing of one human being's hand against the forearm of another elicited a swift, contrite apology, subway sources reported.

"Whoops—sorry," said proofreader Heather Wright, 32, immediately following the intrusion into 20-year-old Hunter College student Chris Franek's personal space, which occurred as Wright tried to turn the page of her book with one hand. "Sorry about that."

Responding to Wright's apology, Franek almost inaudibly mumbled, "It's okay."

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