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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Smithsonian Acquires Rare Photograph Where Whole Family Looks Really Nice

WASHINGTON—Calling the image an important addition to their collection, officials from the Smithsonian National Museum of American History announced Friday they have acquired a rare photograph where the whole Barlow family looks very nice. “The Smithsonian is proud to celebrate this exceptional and iconic 2014 vacation snapshot of the Barlow family in which Matthew, Karen, Joanna, and Bradley all have genuine smiles and no one is squinting or blinking,” said head researcher Rodney Agee, adding that for the first time in American history, the extraordinary photograph perfectly captured the Barlows appearing well-groomed and happy to be in each other’s company. “This magnificent informal group portrait is a national treasure, as all members of the Barlow family are dressed in nice, clean outfits free of wrinkles and stains, evenly lit, and looking in the right direction.” At press time, a Smithsonian spokesperson told reporters the photo was the only known image of Bradley on his best behavior and not fucking around.


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