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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Smithsonian Rejects Tie Dylan McDermott Wore In 'The Practice'

WASHINGTON—The Smithsonian Museum of American History has politely declined to accept the striped-blue tie worn by actor Dylan McDermott during the "Of Thee I Sing" episode in the seventh season of The Practice. "Unfortunately, the Smithsonian is not accepting unsolcited submissions at this time," read the form letter sent by the Smithsonian Institution to the residence of Mr. McDermott, along with the returned tie and autographed headshot originally sent to the museum. "While we appreciate your interest, the article of clothing in question does not meet the level of cultural significance demonstrated by the artifacts in≠cluded in our collection, such as the ruby slippers from The Wizard Of Oz and Archie Bunker's chair from All In The Family. Best of luck." When asked for† comment, Mr. McDermott said he thought the Smithsonian was making a "huge mistake," but believed another item he recently sent the museum—a sweater he wore in the 2003 film Runaway Jury—was "a sure thing."

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