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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Snooping Andre Agassi Suspects Fellow Players Planning Surprise Retirement Party For Him

QUEENS, NY—Andre Agassi has spent the majority of his time at this week's U.S. Open snooping around the National Tennis Center and questioning fellow players about the time and location of his surprise retirement party, despite being repeatedly assured that no plans for such a party have been made. "Yesterday he stopped me in the locker room and asked me, if people weren't planning a party, where everyone was during his first-round match with Andrei Pavel," James Blake said, adding that he can tell that Agassi desperately wants the players to do something special for him. "I told him if he really wanted a party I was sure we could throw something together, but he just said I was 'doing a good job of playing along.'" Agassi claims his suspicions were confirmed when Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal stopped talking upon noticing an eavesdropping Agassi in a hat and sunglasses eating an ice-cream cone behind a nearby railing.

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