adBlockCheck

Soccer Player In Blue Shirt Happy

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Soccer Player In Blue Shirt Happy

SOUTH AMERICA?—Following what must have been a successful on-field achievement Sunday, a professional, semi-professional, or possibly amateur male soccer player wearing a sky-blue shirt appeared happy, sources confirmed. According to reports, fans in attendance adorned with similarly blue-colored clothing, flags, and face paint were also happy, while players wearing red shirts hung their heads because they were sad. Along the sidelines, a group of people in yellow shirts remained neither happy nor sad but mostly seemed indifferent, and as of press time, no players on the field were wearing pink or purple shirts.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close