Socially Awkward Player Afraid To Ask If He’s Invited To Walk-Off Celebration

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 16

End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Holiday

Socially Awkward Player Afraid To Ask If He’s Invited To Walk-Off Celebration

LOS ANGELES—Following his teammate Matt Kemp's walk-off home run Tuesday night, Dodgers second baseman and self-proclaimed "loner" Juan Uribe told reporters he felt uncomfortable joining the celebration without first being asked. "Maybe they don’t want me there," Uribe said, adding that while watching his teammates jump up and down, he noticed that no one asked where he was. "I didn’t have anything to do with the game-winning hit, and I don't know Matt [Kemp] that well, so I guess I don't belong. What kind of team would want to celebrate with a loser like me anyway?" Teammates assured Uribe he should feel more comfortable celebrating with the team as well as calling for pop flies and leaving the batter's box without waiting for the coach to tell him to run first.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More