Softball Team Unsure Of How To Console Jackass Captain Who Just Struck Out

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Vol 45 Issue 31

Man Running After Bus Delights Bus Occupants

CLEVELAND—Among the factors that contributed to the overall feeling of joy among those lucky enough to witness the spectacle, was the fact that the man was not in very good physical shape, an indication that the act of running was in all likelihood his last recourse.
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Softball Team Unsure Of How To Console Jackass Captain Who Just Struck Out

MILWAUKEE—After team captain Steven Tompsen started yelling and threw a bat at the fence, teammates of the 32-year-old sales manager were uncertain how to make him feel better about striking out during a recreational company softball game. "I feel like we should just let him go until he gets tired," teammate Andy Littova said while watching Tompsen scream accusations of bias at the umpire. "I'd go over and try to console him, but I don't want the other team to think I like the guy." At press time, Tompsen's teammates were torn between "It's okay, we still have eight more innings," and "Stop crying about it, you fucking psycho."

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