Sole Remaining Lung Filled With Rich, Satisfying Flavor

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Sole Remaining Lung Filled With Rich, Satisfying Flavor

GARLAND, TX—Local resident Jesse McCombs' sole remaining lung filled with the rich, satisfying flavor of Parliament cigarettes Monday. "Mmm, now that's a good smoke," said McCombs, 51, drawing a deep breath of Parliament smoke into what remains of his respiratory system. "It's just too bad I no longer have a right lung, because then I could be enjoying double the tobacco pleasure right now."