adBlockCheck

Recent News

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
End Of Section
  • More News

Some Guy At Bar Lived In San Francisco For A Summer And Liked It A Lot

PITTSBURGH—Calling it “a great city” and saying that he could definitely see himself moving back there one day, some guy at local bar Casey’s Draft House lived in San Francisco for a summer and really liked it, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Oh, you talking about San Francisco? I lived there for a summer when I was doing an internship, back in, like, I think it was 2010,” said the guy, who then went on to talk about Golden Gate Park and the “amazing” Mexican food he used to pick up in the Mission. “What’s awesome about San Francisco is that it’s got all these cool little neighborhoods and they’re all within walking distance of each other, so it doesn’t feel like you’re stuck in a big city. And you’re right on the water the whole time. It’s great. I love San Francisco.” At press time, the guy had turned around and was talking to someone else now.

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close