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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Some Kind Of Smart-Ass Wearing Kevin Kolb Jersey

BUFFALO, NY—Speculating that he must think he’s “real goddamn funny,” observers at Overtime Sports Bar & Grill confirmed Monday that a man is walking around wearing a Kevin Kolb jersey like some kind of smart-ass. “Looks like we’ve got a grade-A wise guy on our hands,” said Joe Phillabaum, 32, adding that the “fucking guy actually spent 120 dollars for this one joke.” “A Kevin Kolb jersey. Yeah, we get it, pal. Good one. Why don’t you go attend a game and get him to autograph a football while you’re at it? Cocky fucker.” At press time, Phillabaum had walked over to shake the asshole’s hand and congratulate him on making everyone in the whole bar laugh.

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