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Some Stupid Thing Making The Rounds Among Your Facebook Friends Today

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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Some Stupid Thing Making The Rounds Among Your Facebook Friends Today

SEEMS LIKE GODDAMN EVERYWHERE—According to a cursory glance at your Facebook feed, just about every goddamn friend you have is passing around and commenting on some stupid and inescapable new viral web thing. The dumb thing, only marginally dissimilar to a thousand idiotic things before it and which evidently propagates itself by making friends pester additional friends in an unending chain of messages crowing “Hey, have you seen this [stupid thing]? It’s really [stupid.]” first showed up on your timeline around 7 a.m. and shows no sign of waning in popularity as 4 p.m. approaches. Social media experts predict that the stupid thing will remain popular for the next two days, at which time it will be replaced by an even stupider thing.

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