DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
DENVER— The Colorado Crush, a Denver-based professional or semi-professional sports team, defeated the Columbus Destroyers 50-47 in an apparently close game of some description last Monday, sources report. "It was great to win our season opener," team captain and center Kyle Moore-Brown told reporters via phone, giving no visual cue as to which sport he played. "Anyone who follows the league knows that Columbus is tough, and just scoring against them is an accomplishment in itself. It's going to be a great season." Although it could not be confirmed at press time, it is assumed that the Destroyers and the Crush do in fact play the same sport.