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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Son Discovers Dad's Welcome Back, Kotter Spec Script While Cleaning Out Attic

WEST LAFAYETTE, IN—While cleaning out his parents' attic Sunday, Mark Norton, 24, stumbled upon a Welcome Back, Kotter spec script written by his father, which has apparently lay dormant in a box labeled "keepsakes" for nearly 30 years. "I never knew Dad to write anything, but there's his full name, address, and telephone number right on the cover sheet," said Norton, adding that the script had all the cast members taking a trip to Hawaii, a place his father has always wanted to visit. "But why didn't he do the gag with Mr. Kotter telling his wife a joke about a distant uncle? That show was canceled before I was born, but even I know that." According to Norton, he read 15 pages, then carefully placed the script back into the box and walked over to the attic window where† he watched his father, dressed in cutoff jeans and a baseball cap, hedge the lawn for 20 minutes.

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