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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Healthy Living

Sonic Booms

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

MDID

(Scat)

First, MDID is a one-man band that’s been recording since 1985. Second, MDID stands for My Dad Is Dead, but self-named band leader Mark Edwards abbreviated the name after repeatedly being asked what it meant. Third, Edwards sounds a lot like Joy Division’s Ian Curtis. One would assume the floodgates for musical pretension would be wide open. That may be true, but Edwards is adept at blending low-fi punk hooks with challenging guitar and monotone vocals. It’s dirty, it’s pretty, it’s an intense listening experience, and thankfully the lyrics aren’t as embittered as one might expect. —JG

Buy This Used Compact Disc:

A Dutch East India Sampler

Various Artists

(Dutch East India Trading)

As CDs get more expensive and major record labels clamp down on the sale of used CDs, some indies have smartly decided to retaliate on the consumer’s behalf. Dischord Records sells its discs mail order at half most albums’ list price. Cruz Records also charges a reduced list and offers advertising support for stores that carry used CDs. Now the well-known indie distributor Dutch East India has given greedy majors another kick in the pants. Buy This Used Compact Disc, a generous compilation featuring 22 artists and 73 minutes of music, sells for a ludicrously paltry $5.98—$5.98! Stores who carry the disc will be given extras to sell in used bins, and why the hell not? The artists—which include Sebadoh, Unrest and Uncle Tupelo, as well as numerous good bands on the label—will get the exposure they deserve. And for once, consumers don’t get screwed. —ST

In Search of Manny

Luscious Jackson

(Grand Royal/Capitol)

The idea of a Jewish, feminist, stoner, hip-hop act might sound like a recipe for disaster, but In Search of Manny is as shit-hot as shit-hot gets. Released on The Beastie Boys’ Grand Royal label, this album ranges from acoustic folk crooning to stylin’ slick sex rhymes, and joins the Beasties and 3rd Bass in offsetting the damage done by Marky Mark, Vanilla Ice, and numerous other white rap acts. The psychedelic dance track “Let Yourself Get Down” samples Schooly D’s “Saturday Night,” one of the dopest beats in history. Luscious Jackson is both yummy and nummy. —TH

Chairman of the Bored

Various Artists

(Grass)

If you haven’t yet bought yourself a present in honor of Frank Sinatra’s 78th birthday, consider this compilation, a backhanded compliment from 41 different bands. Ranging from eclectic (Kramer, Girls Against Boys) to obscure (Pool, Nod) to cult (Flaming Lips, Ed Hall), all the artists combine respect for Sinatra’s showmanship with contempt for the man himself. The results are great fun, especially Screeching Weasel’s blast through “Chicago” and Lotion’s surprisingly faithful take on “Fly Me To the Moon.” Important ironic trivia fact: Not even one of the songs on this two disc, two hour set was written by Ol’ Blue Eyes himself. —JK

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