adBlockCheck

Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
End Of Section
  • More News

Sotomayor To Add Ballistics Expertise To Already Deadly Supreme Court

WASHINGTON—In addition to her extensive command of corporate law, intellectual property cases, and arbitration, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor also brings a world-class knowledge of ballistics and experimental weaponry to an already deadly Supreme Court, analysts said this week. "Justice Sotomayor's unique knowledge of flares and boosters will be a welcome addition to the nation's highest judicial body, providing a perfect complement to Breyer's stick-fighting, Kennedy's psyops, and Ginsburg's melee skills," legal scholar Toni Martello said. "After the recent loss of Souter's crack archery and hotwiring talents, the Court will have to do all it can to stay lethal." Court observers are still unsure as to what value Justice Thomas' expert napping abilities could possibly be adding.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close