Sound Strategy Booed

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Vol 45 Issue 43

WNBA Franchise Moving To Tulsa Sounds About Right

DETROIT—A recent announcement that the WNBA's Detroit Shock would be moving to Tulsa, OK next season seemed pretty much in line with what one would expect from the women's professional basketball league, observers told reporters Sunday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Spring

Sound Strategy Booed

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Completely ignoring the benefits of proper time management, the establishment of good field position, and patience, Jaguars fans heckled Jack Del Rio's sensible decision to punt on fourth and three Sunday, repeatedly shouting obscenities and even calling into question the head coach's sexual orientation. "Just fucking go for it, you pussies," Alex Lewis, 28, said during the second quarter of the Jaguars-Rams game. "Goddamn dumbass, we're on their fucking 45. Come on, idiots. Are we trying to win a football game here or what?" During the entirety of the game, jeering fans were also disgusted by the lack of randomly thrown challenge flags, onside kicks, and players haphazardly lateraling the football.

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