Sound Technicians Resort To Hanging Donald Sutherland Upside Down In Empty Stairwell To Get Optimal Voice-Over Tone

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Vol 48 Issue 11

Still Some Nutella Left In Jar, Reports Depression

TIGARD, OR—Citing the fact that having another spoonful or two wasn't going to make much of a difference at this point anyway, a crippling bout of clinical depression reported Tuesday there was definitely still some Nutella left in that jar. 

Children's Stair Injuries Down Nearly 12%

A study from Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, OH reports that, while a child is hospitalized every six minutes with a stair-related injury, the number of incidences has fallen to 11.6 percent since 1999.

In Over Your Head

We're talking $1,310 a month for the next 30 years of your life—that's until 2042 and doesn't even begin to include property taxes.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Sound Technicians Resort To Hanging Donald Sutherland Upside Down In Empty Stairwell To Get Optimal Voice-Over Tone

BURBANK, CA—During a recording session earlier this week, technicians at ProSound Studios found they were able to obtain a perfectly lush, heady voice-over resonance by hanging actor Donald Sutherland upside down from the railing of an empty staircase. "We tried lowering him into an old smokestack, but you lose some of the subtlety in his lower register that way," audio engineer Kevin Coe said as he loosened Mr. Sutherland's leg buckles and eased him down onto the landing. "Toyota is very specific about the sound they want, and we found that hanging Donald upside down in this staircase and muffling him slightly by stuffing socks into his mouth produced exactly the sort of warm, comforting inflections the client just loves." Coe said the recordings, which effectively showcased Mr. Sutherland’s full, powerful timbre, were some of the best work he's done, though Toyota ultimately decided to go with a more ragged, gravel-toned Gene Hackman voice-over instead.

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