Sources: Greg Oden Looks Incredible In Video From 2007

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 22

Lifeguard Hoping To Make Up For Last Summer

The U.S. Disc Jockey General urges Americans to get the Led out, a BuzzFeed writer resigns in disgrace after plagarizing '10 Llamas Who Wish They Were Models,' and the new and improved Google maps lets users launch missiles at any location on the globe.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Innovation

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Sources: Greg Oden Looks Incredible In Video From 2007

ATLANTA—Displaying the virtually unlimited raw potential of a once-in-a-generation franchise center, multiple league sources confirmed Saturday that former Portland Trail Blazers player Greg Oden has looked absolutely incredible in a video from 2007. “He’s just such an amazing physical specimen—the guy could destroy every center in the league,” NBA On TNT analyst Steve Kerr said of the video that surfaced five years ago, showcasing Oden’s tremendous natural talents as a center for Ohio State University. “He totally dominates in the paint and around the rim. Guys with 7-foot, 250-pound frames who have that level of quickness and agility don’t come around too often. How do you stop that?” Kerr went on to say that while Oklahoma City Thunder small forward Kevin Durant demonstrates a pretty high ceiling in a recently unearthed clip from 2006, Oden appears to “ultimately be the guy you can build a team around for the next decade.”

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More