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Sources: Hackers Vandalized Drudge Report For Last 15 Years

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
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Sources: Hackers Vandalized Drudge Report For Last 15 Years

MIAMI—Following recent reports that a covert Chinese military unit is behind a series of cyber assaults on American companies, blogger Matt Drudge revealed to reporters today that his popular news aggregation website The Drudge Report has also been at the mercy of Chinese hackers since shortly after the site’s inception in 1996. “They make the whole site look like garbage, they publish all this incendiary trash, and meanwhile I have to sit here with my name on this thing—it kills me,” said the popular blogger, who went on to claim the website’s primitive graphics, inflammatory muckraking, and shoddily researched takedowns were the work of a sophisticated unit of Chinese super-hackers determined to drag down the quality of what would otherwise be a reliable, respected source of online reportage and commentary. “All I can say is if someone in China is trying to make my website look like complete and utter shit then they’re doing a hell of a job.” At press time, sources confirm Drudge was consulting popular viral content aggregator Buzzfeed to see how they were dealing with a similar breach in security.

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