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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Sources: Petraeus Knew About Affair For More Than A Year

WASHINGTON—High-level sources in Washington confirmed today that CIA director David Petraeus was fully aware of his extramarital affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell almost a year before the story broke last week. “All evidence suggests Petraeus quite probably had extensive and detailed knowledge about his protracted sexual relationship with Paula Broadwell as early as last fall, shortly after he began having sex with her,” said former Army spokesman Steve Boylan, adding that Petraeus was likely well informed of his own adultery throughout the course of his entire relationship with Broadwell, and may indeed have had full knowledge of various intimate details of said relationship. “There is strong reason to believe that Petraeus came across explicit e-mails sent between Mrs. Broadwell and himself not long after he wrote them, and that his awareness of the romance was more or less confirmed somewhere around the time he began having a yearlong affair with her.” Additional sources concluded it was very likely Petraeus knew he was completely fucked about 10 seconds after resigning.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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