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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Sources: Petraeus Knew About Affair For More Than A Year

WASHINGTON—High-level sources in Washington confirmed today that CIA director David Petraeus was fully aware of his extramarital affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell almost a year before the story broke last week. “All evidence suggests Petraeus quite probably had extensive and detailed knowledge about his protracted sexual relationship with Paula Broadwell as early as last fall, shortly after he began having sex with her,” said former Army spokesman Steve Boylan, adding that Petraeus was likely well informed of his own adultery throughout the course of his entire relationship with Broadwell, and may indeed have had full knowledge of various intimate details of said relationship. “There is strong reason to believe that Petraeus came across explicit e-mails sent between Mrs. Broadwell and himself not long after he wrote them, and that his awareness of the romance was more or less confirmed somewhere around the time he began having a yearlong affair with her.” Additional sources concluded it was very likely Petraeus knew he was completely fucked about 10 seconds after resigning.

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