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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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South Africa Realizes All Its Things Were Stolen During World Cup

JOHANNESBURG—Although the nation is receiving positive reviews of its job hosting the 2010 FIFA World Cup, South Africa was shocked to discover Monday that most of its belongings had been robbed while the nation was distracted by the month of soccer games. "We got back from the stadium and our car was gone, along with our television and most of our furniture," said Durban resident Simon Manby, noting that his neighbors had all suffered the same fate. "And the police say they can do nothing until all their stolen squad cars are recovered. Typical." The South African government has pledged to recover the nation's things, including several thousand hectares of veldt and its resident giraffes, which are presumed to be for sale on the Lesotho black market.

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