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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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South Dakota Asked To Water North Dakota's Crops Over The Weekend

BISMARCK, ND—Seeking a neighborly favor Monday, North Dakota Gov. John Hoeven asked South Dakota to water his state's crops this upcoming weekend while he and the rest of North Dakota goes on vacation. "If you could just turn on the state's irrigation systems around noon every day for about an hour, that'd be great," Hoeven said. "Oh, and just grab the mail and the newspapers, too, if you don't mind." Hoeven also left South Dakota with the phone numbers of neighbor states Minnesota and Montana in the event of an emergency.

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