From the Onion Prison Channel: Prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs.
BOSTON—Actor Larry Bird, best known for his portrayal of Larry Bird in the 1996 film Space Jam, Larry Bird in the 1994 basketball drama Blue Chips, and Larry Bird in the 1996 comedy Celtic Pride, attended Game 2 of the NBA Finals Sunday night. "We were in the team huddle, and I look up, and there's Hollywood legend Larry Bird—the actor who played golf with basketball player Michael Jordan in Space Jam before Jordan got sucked into the hole that dropped him into Looneyland," said guard Ray Allen, adding that his teammates then began imitating Bird's delivery of the his signature "Where'd he go?" line from the film. "Of course, he got a huge standing ovation from the crowd when they announced his name. He was great in that movie." Bird had no comment when asked if he had any new projects in the works, only telling reporters that he was at the game to see if the actor from He Got Game was any good.