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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Spate Of Offseason Kicker Suicides Blamed On Trauma Of Getting Iced By Timeouts

NEW YORK—A study released Friday concerning the four suicide deaths of NFL kickers in recent months suggests the players all exhibited signs of post-timeout stress disorder, a condition blamed on the "hellish psychological torture" of an opposing coach icing them with a timeout right before a field-goal attempt. "Kickers don't like to admit timeouts bother them, because in football's masculine culture that's a sign of weakness," said Dr. Franklin Gould, one of the study's authors, who criticized the league for disputing the harm caused by kicker icing. "This is an extremely harrowing experience for kickers, and we always recommend they take a few weeks off to cope and talk to someone about what they went through. But in most cases, they go right back on the field and attempt the field goal again anyway." The study was particularly harsh on the San Diego Chargers, whose kicker Nick Novak showed "several symptoms" of deteriorating mental health, such as urinating on the sideline, before his shooting spree targeting the Broncos' coaching staff last week.

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