Special Five-Part Series "Dumb In America" Begins This Week

Top Headlines

Recent News

Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Man Praying Interviewer Doesn’t Ask Any Questions

MINNEAPOLIS—His mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty as he arrived at the offices of Regent Advertising Partners to interview for an open account manager position, local man Devin McKee reportedly prayed Thursday that the hiring manager wouldn’t ask him any questions during their meeting.

Origins Of Popular Slang Terms

As the internet helps push new words and expressions into common usage, many may wonder where our most ubiquitous idioms come from. Here are the origins of some popular slang terms and phrases

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

Man Had No Idea Cough Was Going To Be Wet One

MUSKEGON, MI—Caught completely off guard by the viscous lump of sputum that was dislodged and sent rocketing upward from his lower respiratory tract, area man Luke Reese confirmed Wednesday he had no idea his impending cough was going to be a wet one.

How To Report A Crime

Whether you are a bystander, witness, or the direct victim of a crime, it’s important to know how to alert the authorities. The Onion provides a step-by-step guide for reporting a crime
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Special Five-Part Series "Dumb In America" Begins This Week

"Dumb In America" host John Harris is on a search to answer a question as complex as America itself: What is Dumbness? Is it simply being born stupid? Or is it an adopted identity, learned through association while attending sporting events or shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch? Dumb people are an important part of our society, bring their dumb ideas to everything from fashion industry to politics. Today, complete idiots hold jobs as waiters, yoga instructors, talk-radio personalities, teachers, and doctors. In fact, today more than half of all Americans are dumb and the latest census indicates their numbers are increasing daily.

In Episode One, Harris takes viewers on a cross-country road trip, visiting major hubs of stupidity along the way. Whether he is attending a Dave Matthews Band concert in California, shooting at rusty kitchen appliances on a farm in Missouri, watching a stay-at-home mom posting comments on Yahoo! News articles in Oklahoma, or drinking Red Bull and vodka with Wall Street day traders, Harris doesn't shy away from asking probing questions of our nation's dumbest. This special television event is a must-see for every American.


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close