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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Special Five-Part Series "Dumb In America" Begins This Week

"Dumb In America" host John Harris is on a search to answer a question as complex as America itself: What is Dumbness? Is it simply being born stupid? Or is it an adopted identity, learned through association while attending sporting events or shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch? Dumb people are an important part of our society, bring their dumb ideas to everything from fashion industry to politics. Today, complete idiots hold jobs as waiters, yoga instructors, talk-radio personalities, teachers, and doctors. In fact, today more than half of all Americans are dumb and the latest census indicates their numbers are increasing daily.

In Episode One, Harris takes viewers on a cross-country road trip, visiting major hubs of stupidity along the way. Whether he is attending a Dave Matthews Band concert in California, shooting at rusty kitchen appliances on a farm in Missouri, watching a stay-at-home mom posting comments on Yahoo! News articles in Oklahoma, or drinking Red Bull and vodka with Wall Street day traders, Harris doesn't shy away from asking probing questions of our nation's dumbest. This special television event is a must-see for every American.

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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