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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Spelling Bee Champion Returns To School A Hero, He Imagines

BAYSIDE HILLS, NY—Scripps National Spelling Bee champion Arvind Mahankali arrived at his middle school in Bayside Hills, NY a hero lauded by all his classmates, the 13-year-old imagined today. “Man, Arvind, the way you took down the word ‘knaidel’ was unbelievable! You are awesome,” said popular and athletic classmate Jason Franklin in Mahankali’s imagination before lifting the spelling champion over his shoulder while surrounded by a consortium of applauding teachers, students, and cheerleaders. “We always knew you were super smart, but to win Scripps? That’s amazing, dude! We are great friends now.” At press time, Mahankali was telling himself that, yes, this is how things would be from now on.

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