adBlockCheck

Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Spielberg Panics, Adds Comical Groin Injuries To 'Lincoln'

LOS ANGELES—Growing nervous after watching a rough cut of his upcoming biopic Lincoln, director Steven Spielberg reportedly re-edited the entire film in a bout of panic, inserting a recurring gag that involves the 16th president repeatedly suffering injuries to the groin. “Steven realized that given the brutal scenes of slavery, the horrific Civil War battles, and an ending in which the hero is killed in cold blood, his movie might benefit from a little comic relief,” said a source at DreamWorks Pictures, adding that the film includes a “hilarious” rail-splitting scene in which an ax head flies off its handle and hits the Great Emancipator squarely in the genitals, as well as a humorous mishap that causes Lincoln to open the Gettysburg Address with the words “Four score and seven years agooOOOWWW!” “We spent about a week shooting pickup footage, and Daniel Day-Lewis got so into character he would improvise taking-it-in-the-nuts routines that weren’t even in the script. He even had an assistant kick him in the balls between takes just so he could keep himself in the same frame of mind Lincoln would have been in at the time.” Reports from early screenings indicate overwhelming audience approval of the film’s new ending, in which John Wilkes Booth shoots Lincoln, screams “Sic semper tyrannis!” and leaps from the Ford’s Theatre balcony only to land crotch-first on an iron handrail.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close