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Sports Community Mourns Death Of Old Bald White Man With Glasses

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Sports Community Mourns Death Of Old Bald White Man With Glasses

NEW YORK—Coaches, current and former players, reporters, and a variety of prominent figures in the sports community gathered Wednesday to mourn the death of an old bald white man with glasses, commemorating his life and his incredible impact on the world of sports. "He did it for the love of the game, and the game loved him back," legendary sportswriter Bud Collins said of the elder statesman, whose bespectacled face and shining cranium became a fixture in the sports sections of well-respected newspapers such as The New York Times and The Washington Post. "We will never see his bald, white, glasses-wearing like again." A bronze statue of the old bald white man with glasses will be erected in front of his alma mater's legendary stadium.

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