Sports Fan Has Opinion

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Vol 49 Issue 42

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Seven Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week seven games: Seahawks at Cardinals OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Cardinals – Backup quarterback Drew Stanton will lead...

Man Uses Air Conditioner To Attack Michael Bay

A man reportedly attacked Michael Bay on the set of Transformers 4 in Hong Kong by swinging an air conditioning unit at Bay’s head, though the director was able to avoid serious injury by ducking and then wrestling the appliance away from his...

Johnson & Johnson Introduces New Leave-In Q-Tips

A blood-soaked mayor Bloomberg announces that homelessness is no longer a problem in New York City, Guinness World Records promotes the man who can lift 27 pounds with his tongue to editor-in-chief, and a child sees no reason why his iron man costume can'...

God Reveals He Occasionally Eats Humans

THE HEAVENS—Speaking candidly during a rare interview this Thursday, God Almighty, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, revealed to the public that He occasionally eats human beings. The Supreme Being, who spoke to reporters today about His dietary habits,...
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Sports Fan Has Opinion

INDIANAPOLIS—A local sports fan has an opinion about sports, sources confirmed Wednesday. According to individuals close to the situation, area man Justin Donnelly, a self-described sports “diehard,” is currently airing his thoughts on a number of issues relating to sports, including the positive qualities of his favorite sports teams, the negative qualities of those teams he dislikes, and his predictions for several upcoming sports matchups. Donnelly, who in the past has communicated his viewpoints on sports to friends, family members, coworkers, as well as complete strangers on internet websites devoted to sports, is reportedly vocalizing his beliefs with passion. Several reports indicate that sports such as football, baseball, basketball, and others are important to Donnelly. Sources confirmed the sports fan enjoys sports very much. At press time, Donnelly was reportedly disagreeing with another sports fan expressing a differing opinion about sports.

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