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Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Sports Fan Has Opinion

INDIANAPOLIS—A local sports fan has an opinion about sports, sources confirmed Wednesday. According to individuals close to the situation, area man Justin Donnelly, a self-described sports “diehard,” is currently airing his thoughts on a number of issues relating to sports, including the positive qualities of his favorite sports teams, the negative qualities of those teams he dislikes, and his predictions for several upcoming sports matchups. Donnelly, who in the past has communicated his viewpoints on sports to friends, family members, coworkers, as well as complete strangers on internet websites devoted to sports, is reportedly vocalizing his beliefs with passion. Several reports indicate that sports such as football, baseball, basketball, and others are important to Donnelly. Sources confirmed the sports fan enjoys sports very much. At press time, Donnelly was reportedly disagreeing with another sports fan expressing a differing opinion about sports.

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