adBlockCheck

Sports Fan Has Opinion

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Satisfaction

Sports Fan Has Opinion

INDIANAPOLIS—A local sports fan has an opinion about sports, sources confirmed Wednesday. According to individuals close to the situation, area man Justin Donnelly, a self-described sports “diehard,” is currently airing his thoughts on a number of issues relating to sports, including the positive qualities of his favorite sports teams, the negative qualities of those teams he dislikes, and his predictions for several upcoming sports matchups. Donnelly, who in the past has communicated his viewpoints on sports to friends, family members, coworkers, as well as complete strangers on internet websites devoted to sports, is reportedly vocalizing his beliefs with passion. Several reports indicate that sports such as football, baseball, basketball, and others are important to Donnelly. Sources confirmed the sports fan enjoys sports very much. At press time, Donnelly was reportedly disagreeing with another sports fan expressing a differing opinion about sports.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close