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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Sports Through With Helping New Orleans Recover

NEW ORLEANS—Following this year's BCS National Championship game, held in New Orleans' Louisiana Superdome, commissioners from all amateur and professional sporting leagues released a statement Tuesday saying that sports is "through" helping the city of New Orleans recover from the devastation suffered at the hands of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. "We worked endless hours to make sure the Superdome was rebuilt in time for the Saints' home opener in 2006; we fought tirelessly to bring the 2008 NBA All-Star Game to the city; and long days and nights were spent making sure the Hornets were able to play in New Orleans Arena this year. Not to mention that our athletes have collectively worked thousands of hours helping the community rebuild," the statement read in part. "Enough's enough already. The city needs to start leeching off another industry." The statement added that sports will continue its pledge to aid New York City's recovery from the blackout of 1977, as the metropolis will add three new baseball teams, two more basketball teams, and four new athletic arenas by the end of 2012.

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