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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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'Sports' Wins 11th Consecutive ESPY For 'Best Thing'

LAS VEGAS—As expected, Wednesday night's ESPN awards culminated in a win for the recreational competitive activity 'Sports' in the Best Thing category, soundly beating perennial runners-up Girls, Food and Beverages, and Consumer Electronics for the 11th consecutive year and 18th year overall. "It was really great to hand the award over to Sports, which as you know has only lost once, to Steak with Mashed Potatoes in 2000," said George Bodenheimer, president of ESPN Inc, who went on to add that being a 'Sports' fan himself was one of the main reasons he agreed to produce the ESPYs. "Of course, that was a bad year for sports, and a really good one for steak." Sports could not attend the award ceremony in person, but arranged for former professional basketball player Michael Jordan to accept the trophy because of his strong, 40-year relationship with sports.

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