WESTWOOD, CA—In a deft and ruthless display of the utmost cunning, local woman Anne Kaminski added the phrase ‘No gifts, please’ to the bottom of her birthday party invitation, sources confirmed Friday.
BRISTOL, CT—SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt announced Monday that, even though his job requires him to be knowledgeable and conversant on a variety of professional sports and sports-related issues, he would rather people not even broach the subject with him when he's not on the air. "I don't like to take my work home with me, or to the supermarket, or to the hardware store, or anywhere else where people are constantly approaching me to ask my opinion on their favorite team or some big story in the sports world," Van Pelt said. "My job is just like any other 9 to 5, 6 to 7:30, 11 to midnight, or 1 a.m. to 2 a.m. I don't ask plumbers about plumbing when I happen to run into them on the bus, especially when they're clearly trying to get some rest." Van Pelt's co-anchor Trey Wingo said he wouldn't mind discussing sports with people, but mostly because he just wants someone to talk to.