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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Stadium Bursts Out Laughing After Jamie Moyer Pitch

PHILADELPHIA—A subpar season during which Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer has amassed a five-plus ERA and been demoted to the bullpen got worse Sunday after the 46-year-old veteran uncorked a 73-mph fastball, eliciting spontaneous laughter and giggles from each of the 43,489 fans at Citizens Bank Park. "I thought it was the most hilarious joke, but then I saw the look on his face and I realized he was serious," said attendee Matthew King, who added that he was barely able to keep a straight face for the rest of the game. "When the pitch speed didn't even register on the scoreboard, beer literally shot out my nose. My entire section was doubled over. Even the batter [Mark Reynolds] was just crying laughing." Immediately following the pitch, a tearful Moyer sprinted off the field and yelled at manager Charlie Manuel, saying that it was Manuel's fault that he was on the mound in the first place.

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