adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Star Athlete Signs Contract For Millions Of Weak U.S. Dollars

NEW YORK—Star of American basketball games Chris Bosh became one of the world's most indebted-to-China people Monday after signing a six-year contract with the New York Knicks worth approximately $150 million weakening US dollars, or what will amount to negative 200 billion yuan in 25 years. "I'm excited to be a part of the team," said the foolish Bosh, evidently unaware of how his unwise move will cause generations of his descendants to be practically enslaved to China in order to pay off the debt he has taken on. "Let's go, New York, baby." China's profits are expected to rise as gluttonous American consumers buy Chinese-made shoes and jerseys endorsed by Bosh.鱼

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close