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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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Star Trek Fan Pretty Sure Show Stole His Idea

CHICO, CA—Star Trek fan Les Cordwainer said Monday he is "pretty sure" that the producers of Star Trek: Voyager stole his idea for an episode in which Captain Janeway finds herself growing attracted to First Officer Chakotay and worries about the effect such a romance would have on the smooth running of her ship. "I described a virtually identical scenario last May on alt.tv.star-trek.voyager, saying it would make a great episode," said Cordwainer following the airing of "Star-Crossed," in which the described events occur. "Why do they even pay writers if they're just going to steal their ideas off the Internet? They should be paying me." Responding to charges from fellow Internet users that his idea was for a Janeway-Tom Paris romance, Cordwainer said, "That just shows how they changed my idea around so I can't sue them."

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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